The foundation of all good relationships is trust. Without it, you won’t have a healthy connection, and it can cause you great pain in the future. While you know it’s essential, few know the steps you need to take to build trust.
Additionally, what do you do when you need to rebuild trust once it’s been broken? There’s nothing as exciting as a new relationship. Everything seems lovely in the beginning when you’re fascinated with one another.
However, as things progress, you will learn that you must have a solid foundation to sustain yourself. What makes up this secure foundation, you ask? Well, you need to have honesty, trust, faithfulness, kindness, understanding, and support.
Remember the story of the three little pigs? The first little pig built his house with straw, and the second pig builds his home with twigs. By all accounts, they took the lazy way around the building project. However, it was the third little pig that took his time.
He used brick, and he built a substantial house with a good foundation. As the story goes, when the big bad wolf came huffing and puffing to blow their homes down, he was unable to destroy the one built with bricks. Your relationship will go through ups and downs, and there will be situations that parallel to the big bad wolf.
Things that come to destroy you won’t because if you take the time and build a good, solid foundation, your relationship will be steadfast.
Twelve Effective Ways to Build Trust
You’ve met the person of your dreams, and you think this could be the one you spend forever loving. So, you want to make sure that you have that foundation that stands the test of time, but you’re unsure what you need to do. Start by building trust.
Here are a few simple ways that you can cultivate a trusting relationship with one another.
1. Never Keep Secrets
Secrets will destroy any relationship. This doesn’t mean that you must tell your partner everything you know; it just means you need to keep them informed on the big stuff. Even if you think it’s something that will make them mad, you must remember they will be even more upset when they find out you lied or concealed something.
2. Always Do What You Say
Another essential part of trust is doing what you say you will do. If you tell your spouse you will be home from a night with your friends by 11 pm, then you should be home by that time. If something occurs that causes you to miss your deadline, you must remember to call out of courtesy.
You want your partner to know that they can trust you to do what you say you will do without hesitation. This helps to establish a good rapport with one another.
3. Tell the Truth
There’s nothing worse than a liar. Even if you feel that you’re justified in telling a little white lie, you must remember that a half-truth is still a whole lie. When you tell one tale that isn’t true, you must tell many more to cover that original one.
Sadly, your lies will snowball until even you can’t keep up with them all, and you may find that you tell the story so well you believe it. Lying is one way to destroy trust and not help to build it. If your partner is always second-guessing what you say to see if it’s truthful, then it’s no kind of relationship.
4. Learn Communication
It would help if you talked about stuff every day: the good things, the bad things, and even the very personal and scary things. Communication is the key to keeping your union together. You want to make sure that your partner is not only your lover but your friend.
How well do relationships work when you hardly talk to one another? Everyone has those friends who only pop in and out of your life when you need them. You can sleep next to one another and not even know what happened in their life that day.
If you want to build trust, then you must share your life with this person. This means you’ve got to talk about the challenging things and let them know how your day was at work.
5. Stand by Your Principles
You’ve probably been told that if you didn’t stand for something, you would fall for anything. Your partner will admire your principles and the stand you take on the things you believe in. Taking a stand means you don’t cave no matter how many times they ask.
For instance, if your partner smokes cigarettes but you have made a stand against tobacco products, you won’t be swayed to smoke a couple with him in a moment of weakness. When you have firm beliefs and principles, you’re like a tree planted by the waters that cannot be moved. He or she will admire you for these qualities because if you’re this way with one principle, you will be this way with most or all of them.
6. Be There When They Need You
There’s nothing worse than a one-sided relationship. If you expect your partner to be there when you need them, then you should be willing to do the same in return. Toxic and self-absorbed people often have one-sided relationships.
According to the National Library of Medicine, narcissists are usually not good with relationships. They are out to use people for their advantage, so often, relationships struggle. If you see any signs that someone has these toxic tendencies, it’s time to move on.
Choosing someone for your partner requires you to take down all the walls you’ve built and be vulnerable. This person will see you at your best and your worst, and they will love you through it all. Assume you were hurt badly in a previous relationship, and you’re afraid to trust.
Every time this person isn’t home when they say they will be, your mind automatically thinks they’re cheating. Rather than blaming them, you need to sit down and tell them why you feel this way. Sure, it’s painful to open up the past and let them see your hurts, but it’s what will help you heal.
8. Define Boundaries
Everyone has boundaries, even in a relationship. Your partner should know upfront your limits and why. It would be best if you never waited until they cross one of them and upset you before saying anything.
There’s nothing wrong with clearly defined limits from the beginning, and it’s healthy to start on the same page.
9. Show Respect
There will be times when you are so angry that you want to call them every name in the book. However, because you love them and don’t want to say things in the heat of the moment, you must show respect. Respect can mean many things, but you have an understanding that no matter how upset you get with one another, you won’t cross that line into being disrespectful.
10. Take Care of Their Needs
When you’re in love with someone, part of building trust means that you put their needs above yours. Sure, you might have to cancel a night out with friends, or you may need to take a day off work to help them when they’re sick.
However, they learn that you will be there for them when they need you most, even if it means you must rearrange your schedule to accommodate.
11. Be Consistent
Consistency is hard for some folks. Relationships can become quite monotonous. You will feel like you’re doing the same thing over and over.
However, it’s the consistency that forms a bond because the other person knows they can depend on you. A steadfast person who is mature enough to stay when things are slightly boring is someone you can trust.
12. Stay Faithful
It’s hard to stay faithful when things are going bad. If you’ve decided to be exclusive, you need to be sure you can handle that commitment. Being together means that you won’t let your eyes wander, and this includes the internet too.
It’s effortless to have an affair these days, but if you want to build trust and not break it, then you will remain faithful.
Everyone has issues, and many people have problems trusting others. However, you can’t let other relationships’ difficulties carry over into your current partnership, as it’s not fair. The National Institute of Health states that all relationships range from good to bad, and trust is a key factor.
Having good communication, remaining faithful, showing your vulnerable side, and doing what you say you will do will help you build a strong foundation. Remember that James Halliwell-Phillipps‘ nursery rhyme about the three little pigs, be like the intelligent piggy that took the time to build his house right.
The foundation of your relationship means everything. If you start by making the core strong, then you can stand the test of time.